Bedlam

the oak was last read 05:27 utc · the 60 most-traded pools on this chain · 1 capers carved

How the oak tallies the vines

A caper on this oak is not a sentence somebody typed. It is three choices — a counter this oak already reads, a target number, and a window — and the English is generated from them. That is the whole idea: a caper the oak cannot settle cannot be written, so the whole band sees what losing looks like at the moment it signs, and no jester has to declare a winner afterwards.

What the oak can count

CounterWhat it counts
distinct buyerswallets that bought at least once in the window, summed across the cluster's pools
distinct sellerswallets that sold at least once in the window
tradesbuys plus sells in the window
pools traded inhow many of the cluster's pools saw any trade in the window

Windows: 30 minutes · 1 hour · 6 hours · 24 hours. Counters: 4. Clusters: 12.

What the oak refuses

  • · a price, a market cap or any valuation target
  • · a holder count — this chain's explorer is behind a challenge page and the number cannot be read honestly
  • · one token address to buy: every counter spans a cluster
  • · anything the oak cannot read on a schedule

This is not moderation, it is the vocabulary: there is no counter that reads a price, and every counter is defined over a cluster of tokens, so there is nothing to point a caper at. A caper is a group stunt with a scoreboard. It is not a trading signal and it is not a claim that anything will go up.

The groves

GroveMatched on the pool name by
whole chainevery tracked pool
hardware and objectslaptop, radio, phone, car, rocket, box, chair, pc, tv
Robinhood brandrobin, hood, sherwood, arrow, bow, nottingham, merry, vlad, tenev, feather, …
stonks and Wall Streetstonk, stock, wall, wsb, nasd, nyse, broker, trader, trade, bull, …
classic animalsdog, doge, inu, shib, frog, pepe, duck, pengu, penguin, ape, …
AI and agentsai, agent, gpt, llm, neural, bot, mcp, claude, grok, openai, …
money and getting richrich, money, cash, bank, gold, dollar, usd, pay, yield, profit, …
internet culturememe, chad, wojak, npc, sigma, based, gm, wagmi, ngmi, fomo, …
games and bettingbet, casino, lotto, lottery, slot, dice, crash, grid, mine, mining, …
foodpizza, burger, taco, coffee, beer, wine, banana, cake, sushi, noodle
science and spacespace, mars, moon, star, galaxy, quantum, nuclear, atom, fusion, orbit
CashCat and catscashcat, cash cat, letscash, cat, kitty, meow, nip, purr

How a carving settles

  1. 1 · When nothing is performing, the pinned parchment with the most quills on it is carried up at the next reading. Its target is frozen there, against the reading that carried it, and the deadline is that moment plus the window.
  2. 2 · While it performs, the counter is read every five minutes and every reading is kept with the minute it was taken. A minute the feed could not answer well enough is written as a gap, never as a zero.
  3. 3 · At the deadline the record settles itself on the reading taken at the deadline: performed if that reading reached the target, fell short otherwise. The counter is a rolling window, so only that reading covers the caper's own window and nothing before it — a reading taken a minute after the parchment went up mostly counts activity from before the caper existed and can never decide it. The peak reading is kept and printed, but it does not settle anything.
  4. 4 · If more than 25% of the window went unread, the carving settles unseen, not failed, and prints for how long the counter was unreadable.
  5. 5 · Nothing is recarved afterwards, and no failure is scraped off the bark.

The oak's ledger

Every settled caper carries a sha-256 hash taken over the previous one's hash and its own record — id, sentence, condition, target, final and peak reading, state, promotion, deadline, deciding reading, unread seconds and the number of wallets that signed, serialised with sorted keys and timestamps normalised to ISO-8601 UTC. The whole chain is published at /api/v1/ledger, and every row carries the exact record object that was hashed plus a verified flag, so anyone can recompute the chain from the export and see whether a row was changed.

Writing that hash to the chain would make it independently timestamped. That costs gas, which has not been authorised, so it is listed here as pending and is not claimed anywhere on this site.

Sources and limits

  • Where the numbers come from. GeckoTerminal's public pool feed for this chain. One sweep reads 3 pages of 20 pools ordered by 24-hour transaction count — the 60 most-traded pools on this chain — and sums the per-window transaction block each pool publishes.
  • What that leaves out. A pool outside those 60 is invisible to the counter. That is a real limit and it is why a caper names a grove rather than a tree: the counter measures a grove's activity as this feed reports it, nothing more.
  • No holder counts. This chain's block explorer is behind a challenge page, so a holder number cannot be read honestly. There is therefore no holder counter, rather than an unverifiable one.
  • A wallet is not a person. One outlaw can carry many quills. The oak counts wallets, says so, and prints the roll in signing order.
  • A counter moves for reasons that have nothing to do with a caper. A settled carving says only what the counter read inside the window. It never says who caused it.
  • Signing is not performing. A caper can be carried up and nobody does it. Those carvings stay on the bark.

What this oak is testing about itself

Two things, published whatever they say. First, that settlement is honest: every performing caper shows its frozen target, its whole chain of readings, and the reading that decided it. Second, the claim the whole camp exists to make — how often a caper the band carried up was actually performed, and whether the number of quills that carried it predicts anything about that. If it turns out the same however many quills signed, the signing is decoration and should be cut.

So far: 1 settled, 1 performed, 0 fell short, 0 unseen.

Public API

/api/v1/dares — every caper, paged. Parameters: page, limit (max 50), state. Returns { items, page, per_page, total, next }.
/api/v1/ledger — the settled chain, paged the same way.